The Bible says lot of pretty radical things, no? Jesus’ ministry alone was filled with extraordinarily deviant concepts and teachings that challenges- and downright offends- typical human ideals. Yet confronting these healthy convictions is at the crux of Christian living which serves as the ultimate underlying framework for the desired overall portrait of victory: obedience.
In this season of my life, I struggle deeply with a few core, chronic Spiritual issues that have been destroying my walk with Christ. With many seasons of pathetic attempts to flaunt and wield my strength in spiritual battle, I have repeatedly and stubbornly failed and discovered that I am deluded and useless; there is no victory without God, and no disease cured by fighting symptoms alone. With this obvious realization, I surrendered in prayer as to what step I needed to take. Just at the right moment, I realized that there are some battles that we must… flee from.
As an inherently prideful Christian man, I’ve learned that I haven’t quite yet fully grasped the Biblical definition of ‘manhood.’ I’ve read a few amazing books that paints very robust pictures of what it means to be a man after God’s own: he’s a fearless warrior that fights. But never did I find that running away from a battle was compatible with this picture. I guess that’s my own pride talking. I then realized that sometimes, true fighting could potentially mean surrendering; surrendering your own effort. Fleeing from your own ability. Running from yourself. Now I see it a bit differently: God’s men are called to be humble, and the true battle is against the one that resists our own surrender.
As many of you know, I moved away from my comfortable nest in Los Angeles to live out on my own for the first time in 23 years. I now take residence in the beautiful nowhere of Arkansas and frankly I love the isolation. So much to time create, pray, and learn. Yet alternately, isolation has proven time and again to provide a dangerous means for unaccounted secret sin. I love the negative space of life, but too much negative space could be dangerous. Though we try our best to keep our hands occupied with work- Christian guys, let’s admit- sometimes, being alone is unavoidable and obviously very difficult. The covert battle of fleshly desire and lust burns within the hearts of men everywhere, God’s men undoubtedly included and target all the more. Speaking as one who has fallen and stumbled pathetically an infinite amount of times, I plead in this day and age, in a world that seems to be spiraling out of control, it’s time to get radical… not in our fight, but in our surrender.
If there’s anyone that knows a thing about being radical, it’s Jesus. How does one apply His radical, Holy standard in the arena of facing this universal monstrosity of sexual lust in the body of Christ? Here is what I’ve discovered. Jesus says in the book of Matthew 5:29, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” That’s pretty radical, bro! But wait, literally? We’re supposed to eviscerate our eyes? For years I’ve somewhat mulled over this verse and never quite fully understood the radical implication of it because of its far-fetched surface. After all, even a blind man could lust. Then the question surfaced, “what and where are my ‘eyes?’” I’ve come to conclude that within the context of this passage, the ‘eye’ is that which causes you to sin.
What is your ‘eye?’ What causes you to sin? Is it a tangible thing? Are they situations? People? Or maybe even thoughts? Brothers and sisters, we need to be honest with ourselves, and start taking some radical steps to pursue holiness by running away from the sources of sin. ”Flee from sexual immorality,” it says in the first letter to the Corinthians. Following Christ is not a ‘comfortable’ thing. It’s radical and revolutionary and it will cost us greatly as it did the rich man in Matthew 19; it may even cost our physical lives.
I pondered upon this question for a while and I have identified that my ‘eye’ is the internet. Therefore, I have cancelled my internet today and will no longer have internet in my home by next week and will be forced to utilize public locations for internet. For the first time ever, I’ve decided to fully apply this verse in my life. It’s finally time that I got a little more serious about surrender.
I write this post to encourage my brothers and sisters who struggle with lust or any other gripping sin and as a request to please help me by keeping me in your prayers. I will keep you all up to date with the things that God will show me through this radical step. Though I will not have internet at home, I will still have internet in public places during normal business hours and I will have a lot more flexibility to be able to connect, create, and build stronger relationships with you all. With such a major distraction removed in my life, I hope to become even more productive and active in answering people’s questions, writing, releasing new tracks, and even getting public live streams or Listening Party’s back up.
Oh, I feel I need to clarify one thing: separating yourself from the source of your sin should be but a supplement to a preexisting, healthy Spiritual lifestyle of sanctification of consistent and constant fellowship and living in daily community with God and with other believers. If there are other things we need to resolve before we take these steps, let’s resolve them first.
So I encourage you all: let’s ‘run away’ together and fight by surrendering. Let’s take a radical step in the right direction.