July 3rd, 2014

Internet Fast Pt. 1

I had cancelled my internet last week. Today, the internet at my apartment is finally disconnected. After several months of seeking guidance from the Lord, the decision became clear that this choice was absolutely necessary. Far too long has the internet combined with isolation been a consistent stumbling block and gateway to idolatry and all sorts of sin. I now must resort to using the internet in public locations.

This is day one of my internet fast and things so far have been great. This morning has been by far one of the most productive mornings of my entire life: I worked out, thoroughly cleaned my apartment, ended world hunger, and am now writing this blog post because I don’t really know what to do next (I might mention that I’m writing this on a blank word document to which I will be posting online later in the day when I go to the coffee shop)… I don’t have much to share just yet.

As I was packing and stowing away my desktop, monitor, and other computer accessories, I felt liberated; bundling up the tangled web of various computer wire spread across my desk and floor was as if I was gathering all my chains and throwing them away. I never realized how tight of a grip the internet and technology had upon my life until now. Day one. Yosh. Pray for me, please.


July 3rd, 2014

I certainly miss Cali beaches. But for now, this will do. #selftimer #exploring #adventure #nakhiphop

July 1st, 2014
June 30th, 2014
Randomly found this from a show we did a while ago.
June 29th, 2014

[NAK’s Weekly Playlist - 6/29/14] - “Lyrical Updraft”

1. Binary Star - Reality Check
2. Gangstarr - Above the Clouds
3. Beautiful Eulogy - Covet
4. Aesop Rock - Daylight
5. CYNE - Out of Time


June 28th, 2014
Hi Nak!

Hey, what’s up?

June 28th, 2014

Transitioning into Adulthood: What is ‘Success,’ Really?

For these past eight months I have been becoming more acquainted to the happy struggle of transitioning into independent adulthood.  A concept once obsessively sought after as a teenager and young adult- and far too distant to be relevant as a young child- finally arriving at this place in life is kinda hard to get used to.  For example, the world of finance doesn’t really hit you until you start paying your own bills.  As a child, I always thought it was annoying how my mom would repeatedly remind me to conserve water and electricity, but now I hardly ever touch that thermostat and best believe my taps never drip.  

As a fresh young immigrant assimilating in this strange land of independent adulthood, an alien to this new world, there are things that I am quickly beginning to discover.  Here’s one of them.

“Success” might be relative.

Since I was a young child, I was brought up to believe that education is synonymous to work, work synonymous to finance, and finance synonymous to success.  This logic is practical in its very essence and there is definitive truth to it in many regards.  But as I worked toward this elusive success, I couldn’t help but to ask, “where in this equation does passion factor in?”  What of the pursuit of God-given dreams and anointed callings?  Truly, what is financial success without fulfillment and what can this definition of ‘success’ do to fix the heart?  What is ‘success’ without God?  

As I delved deeper into the realm of adulthood, I’ve noticed that this question becomes more consistently prominent as I see and experience first hand the ethos of my society driven by a ‘rat-race’ mentality: work to pay the bills, feed the kids, pay for tuition, buy what makes us happy, go on vacation, repeat.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe work is a blessing from God, and it’s an awesome thing when your work is your passion, to enjoy the fruit of your labor, and perhaps paying the bills and raising children is supposed to be one’s mission. But I believe it’s dangerous when one’s pursuit of ‘success’ controls and dictates the course of one’s entire life and hinders true dreams to flourish.  What if God calls you from your job, your livelihood, and your primary source of income to serve in some obscure and dangerous alleyway of the universe?  Is this still considered “success?”  It certainly doesn’t fit the equation I was taught.  If trading in prestige and honor is the cost of being obedient, would you do it?  In desperate search of a reference point, I am reminded of the twelve disciples.  How they were called to leave their homes, their jobs, their families, everything to follow Jesus.  What would that look like in the modern world?  It’s difficult for me to conceptualize.  

However, I’m not arguing that we should abandon our worldly possessions and fast in the hills; no.  I do think there is still a responsible and sensible balance that we must achieve in order to do anything, especially what God calls for us to do.  After all, you can’t chase the bread and cheese if your stomach ain’t got bread and cheese.  I don’t believe there is wrongdoing in using a job to further one’s passion.  But when measuring success, I am learning my definition of true success is measured by the underlying motives of the heart and the stewardship of your resources and is not measured by prestige, education, or financial gain.  The book of Isaiah states that our demonstrations of righteousness are ‘filthy rags’ in the eyes of the Lord; if the Lord sees even our most righteous deeds as ‘filthy,’ how much more then does God view our worldly success?  I think I’m starting to learn that when rooted in God’s will, your decisions don’t really have much impact, much lest they are really your decisions to begin with (hence “God’s Will”).  I can say with confidence that I would rather be unsuccessfully fulfilled than successfully broken.  

But back to a previous question and I still think about this often… if you are called by God to abandon everything you worked for to pursue something completely contrary, would that be wise?  What are your thoughts?  What is your definition of success?


June 26th, 2014

Taking Radical Steps to Flee from Lust

The Bible says lot of pretty radical things, no?  Jesus’ ministry alone was filled with extraordinarily deviant concepts and teachings that challenges- and downright offends- typical human ideals.  Yet confronting these healthy convictions is at the crux of Christian living which serves as the ultimate underlying framework for the desired overall portrait of victory: obedience.  

In this season of my life, I struggle deeply with a few core, chronic Spiritual issues that have been destroying my walk with Christ.  With many seasons of pathetic attempts to flaunt and wield my strength in spiritual battle, I have repeatedly and stubbornly failed and discovered that I am deluded and useless; there is no victory without God, and no disease cured by fighting symptoms alone.  With this obvious realization, I surrendered in prayer as to what step I needed to take.  Just at the right moment, I realized that there are some battles that we must… flee from.  

As an inherently prideful Christian man, I’ve learned that I haven’t quite yet fully grasped the Biblical definition of ‘manhood.’  I’ve read a few amazing books that paints very robust pictures of what it means to be a man after God’s own: he’s a fearless warrior that fights.  But never did I find that running away from a battle was compatible with this picture.  I guess that’s my own pride talking.  I then realized that sometimes, true fighting could potentially mean surrendering; surrendering your own effort.  Fleeing from your own ability.  Running from yourself.  Now I see it a bit differently: God’s men are called to be humble, and the true battle is against the one that resists our own surrender.

As many of you know, I moved away from my comfortable nest in Los Angeles to live out on my own for the first time in 23 years.  I now take residence in the beautiful nowhere of Arkansas and frankly I love the isolation.  So much to time create, pray, and learn.  Yet alternately, isolation has proven time and again to provide a dangerous means for unaccounted secret sin.  I love the negative space of life, but too much negative space could be dangerous.  Though we try our best to keep our hands occupied with work- Christian guys, let’s admit- sometimes, being alone is unavoidable and obviously very difficult.  The covert battle of fleshly desire and lust burns within the hearts of men everywhere, God’s men undoubtedly included and target all the more.  Speaking as one who has fallen and stumbled pathetically an infinite amount of times, I plead in this day and age, in a world that seems to be spiraling out of control, it’s time to get radical… not in our fight, but in our surrender.  

If there’s anyone that knows a thing about being radical, it’s Jesus.  How does one apply His radical, Holy standard in the arena of facing this universal monstrosity of sexual lust in the body of Christ?  Here is what I’ve discovered.  Jesus says in the book of Matthew 5:29, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”  That’s pretty radical, bro!  But wait, literally?  We’re supposed to eviscerate our eyes?  For years I’ve somewhat mulled over this verse and never quite fully understood the radical implication of it because of its far-fetched surface.  After all, even a blind man could lust.  Then the question surfaced, “what and where are my ‘eyes?’” I’ve come to conclude that within the context of this passage, the ‘eye’ is that which causes you to sin.  

What is your ‘eye?’  What causes you to sin?  Is it a tangible thing?  Are they situations?  People?  Or maybe even thoughts?  Brothers and sisters, we need to be honest with ourselves, and start taking some radical steps to pursue holiness by running away from the sources of sin.  ”Flee from sexual immorality,” it says in the first letter to the Corinthians.  Following Christ is not a ‘comfortable’ thing.  It’s radical and revolutionary and it will cost us greatly as it did the rich man in Matthew 19; it may even cost our physical lives.

I pondered upon this question for a while and I have identified that my ‘eye’ is the internet.  Therefore, I have cancelled my internet today and will no longer have internet in my home by next week and will be forced to utilize public locations for internet.  For the first time ever, I’ve decided to fully apply this verse in my life.  It’s finally time that I got a little more serious about surrender.  

I write this post to encourage my brothers and sisters who struggle with lust or any other gripping sin and as a request to please help me by keeping me in your prayers.  I will keep you all up to date with the things that God will show me through this radical step.  Though I will not have internet at home, I will still have internet in public places during normal business hours and I will have a lot more flexibility to be able to connect, create, and build stronger relationships with you all.  With such a major distraction removed in my life, I hope to become even more productive and active in answering people’s questions, writing, releasing new tracks, and even getting public live streams or Listening Party’s back up.  

Oh, I feel I need to clarify one thing: separating yourself from the source of your sin should be but a supplement to a preexisting, healthy Spiritual lifestyle of sanctification of consistent and constant fellowship and living in daily community with God and with other believers.  If there are other things we need to resolve before we take these steps, let’s resolve them first.  

So I encourage you all: let’s ‘run away’ together and fight by surrendering.  Let’s take a radical step in the right direction.


June 25th, 2014
You have never fail to amaze me. Keep it up (:!

Praise God.  Thank you! :D

June 25th, 2014

"Paranoid of the rejection, I’m a cloister with protection
From uncoiling and confessing and avoiding any tension
I rap with over-emphasis, deploying clever sentences
And decoys to make the Truth sound less offensive
And I’m sorry.”

Hear my latest free release, “Slaughter Silent” with an instrumental by Emancipator.  Lyrics, foreword, and free download below:


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Welcome to the Official Website of NAK: Hip-hop artist, registered nurse, and follower of Christ. Art, thinking, and Christian living. I'm here to help.