I'm Okay (2018)

by nak

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prod: @skyhighbeatss
video: youtu.be/JWfMq5jufSw

now in my darkest moments i long for a call or a text message
a post on my wall, a request, mention
but nine out of ten my inbox is empty
no phone fluorescence
no invitation to the pity party i wish i was a part of
another night all alone up in my room with the tunes
with the moon and the stardust
i’m thinking i’m a little ironic
i really need a heart to heart
but my heart is hardened but i need you most
come close but you keep your distance like my guards are armed
i’m not your happy-go-lucky companion
i’m only tragic
what’s left of my passion is
slipping through cracks in my fingers like magic
i don’t need your help, i’ll be okay
you’re too late to save me anyway
what kind of hope is left
i’m losing control like I’m tokin’ meth
a rogue when I roam like i’m boba fett
if i’m alone for a sec it ain’t copacetic: i’m mad paranoid
and i mourn for the man that i used to be
he died and my pride did the eulogy
let me "deal" in peace; another pack of cards
used to rap from the heart now i rap from the scars
i wish i could tell you that
i’m in the midst of the will of the father
but this ain’t a place i could feel him
and i cannot take it no longer
someone once told me i worship myself
and my lover is comfort
so maybe the guilt and the shame
that i carry is just that i suffer
i’m a liar, don’t you understand
my heart is hard so i need to pretend
my pride is large but won’t you see me through
we need each other but we saying
we need each other but i'm saying:
i don’t need your help i’ll be okay
(you’re too late to save me anyway)

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released February 14, 2018

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nak Chino, California

A Filipino-American lyricist, rapper, poet and chronically depressed, irrational over-thinker, teacher, graduate student, and registered nurse from Chino, California. This is shy rap. Repentance despite feeling forsaken. Lyricism at its lowest. Emotional music for introverted people. Sounds for the hopeful. Living proof that God could use losers. Music best enjoyed alone. ... more

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